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Jewish Organizations- YOU ARE WARNED!

I urge anyone who has been a victim,or anyone that has any information at all about abusers and their protectors, to kindly contact Mr. Pasik.

How do any of you who supposedly are working for Klal Yisroel live with yourselves? You at Tora U'mesorah...., if this happened to your child, would you not have set the world on fire to CHANGE the system? Is this child not yours?- UOJ

Comments from two people that were molested.


1-"Regarding people in power abusing woman ,children and the like: At the age of 11 on Yom kippur afternoon I was physically assaulted by a respected member of a " out of town" community -Im not getting into the details but it wasnt pretty- etc. there were actually 2 aydim and drawing of blood no hasroah but definately bordering a chayev misah offense ( yom kippur,drawing blood) to make a long story short I was an 11 yr old wild kid- even my parents werent 100% backing me up- It was that farfetched of a story and this a well respected guy- no waves etc- On the way to his house the next day I took an icepick-my father pulled up to see this, calmed me down etc and that was it I made up my mind that when Im 17-18 big and strong etc like the " older boys" then i was gonna kill him!- Fast track to 17 I still remembered and i was still pissed. I spoke to the rav who knew of this guy and apparently i was noty the only one etc.In his own words " In Europe the askanim would take these kinds of people out of the shul on R'H or Y'K when all the talleisim were over peoples head -take them to the river and DROWN them!!"At this pt I was not too religious and involved with a little shadiness and my comment to the rav was well - screw dina dimalchusa- Im gonna take him to a dark alley etc! his response- " If we were in Europe I would go with you to that dark alley" BUT were not etc etc...Take him to B'D instead- and sue him monetarily for emotional damages this way win or lose - the word gets out! Ok- Before I decided to take it public I had a talk w/ his son - a sweet lo yutzlach who begged me due to shidduchim Please not to go public telling me-" My father is an ANIMAL" - You dont even know the begining of how me and my brothers suffered - never my mother for if so i would have killed him myself!!! With this in mind I decided on a simpler course of action with the sons blessing! 5:30 in the morning on the way to give his daf yomi shiur said rabbi was confronted -alone on a deserted street with jackboots and a .44..................

I did not kill the man.He tried to run and there was a confrontation-I still remember him asking me not to use nivul peh- that was the least of his problem -I directed him to a close by wooded area - got him on his knees- I asked him if he knew vidui baal peh.. He started to beg for his life< to interject- a cpl years before this my father did actually confront him asking him to ask me for mechila-he refused and told my father the following-" If a malach wasnt watching over me that afternoon -I wouldve killed your son!" my father refused to speak with him ever again! Why he didnt do more is another issue altogether>I realized that what happened to me was not gonna change-causing him pain or not,my primary concern at that time was to prevent him from doing things like that again.To that end I calmly explained to him that I would be watching him -If it happened again there will be no questions -and if he so much should lay a hand on anybody again there would be no malach there to save him.No Beis din .No more lies. Din.Dayan.Executioner all rolled into one- He understood very clearly this was not a joke -This was about 6-7 years ago .To my knowledge he has "reformed" He has not (and i keep tabs) bothered anyone since.I see him occasionaly in shul when I go back home- Ill ask him if hes behaving himself.He just quietly nods.Would I actually carry throgh if he would...??? I hope that that is a bridge I dont ever have to cross. The rabbi who was originally consulted in my case as well as many others that he had known about told me directly-" He has a din of a Rodeph" by doing these things hes killing kids neshomas..etc.There is however a dina dimalchusa issue which is why he recommended beis din. In Closing There are many ways to go in situations like these.I personally knew kids who violently confronted rabbis who had molested them etc. and ended up in jail.Clearly that is not a viable option. In my scenario while probably not being the most mature response -I was 17 - It seems to have worked .It seems a threat of imminent death can do wonders for self control.
UOJ and others - How should the COUNTLESS kids who have been abused in one form or another over the years- many still wandering the streets of flatbush,BP, Willy etc. confront the pain?? These are not yechidim- There are A LOT of these kids out there"!!

Friday, September 23, 2005
Why Is This Child Molester Being Kept At Rasha Gamur-Margulies's personal Piggy Bank - Tora Temima

2-Posted By David

"I too was molested by Rabbi Yidi Kolko, both while a student in 7th and 8th grades in Yeshiva Torah V'daas and during those same summers whilst a camper in Camp Agudah.

I used to get rides to school in the mornings with Yidi whether in his old blue car or in his brand new brown car. At that time he lived on 56th Street between 14th & 15th Avenue, whilst I lived on 57th Street, between 15th and 16th Avenues. He was newly married at that time and his first child, a daughter, was also just born then.

Once we got to the Yeshiva on Ocean Parkway, which then was just off of Caton Road, he would park the car (either down the block from the Yeshiva, on the Ocean Parkway service road, or around the corner, I think it was East 5th Street, and ask me to come over and either sit beside him or sit on his lap. Sometimes he would move over to the passenger seat and would then sit me on his lap.

That's when he went fishing. He would insert his hands down the front of my pants and would begin to "search around" to say the least. At the same time he would pull me closer to himself, or would push himself forward againt myself, sometimes even pushing me into the stearing wheel, to the point that it hurt.

Unfortunately I didn't react or complain. The winters were cold and these rides saved on not having to walk all the way to 13th Avenue to wait for the bus (especially on Sunday mornings), you were able to leave your house later since you could always make the ride, and you saved a couple of cents, which was a lot in those days.

During one of those Sunday mornings whilst we were driving on Caton Avenue, whilst I was sitting in the front passenger seat - I almost always sat in the front passenger seat - we were involved in a terrible traffic accident where a car went through a red light and slammed into Yidi's car. B"H we all got out without a scratch.

In Camp Aguda it was the same, whether if he took me into the trees, or into his cabin, or even would take me out for a drive. FYI, during the summer of 1970 I had my bar mitzva in the camp.

I of course told my parents and tried on several times
to explain to them what I was going through, but they didn't want to believe me and my "stories", etc. My father at that time was a very well known and respected person in the Boro Park & Midwood communities and within the Yeshiva world. So I just shut up and let the molestation and perversion continue.

I also think that Yidi Kolko is a danger to the students, past and present in Yeshiva Tora Temimah and I feel that it is about time that the wall of silence be torn down.

Did I suffer as a result, probably. But I have made a life for myself and today am very happily married with 4 wonderful children".

--
Posted by David to UN-ORTHODOX JEW at 9/23/2005 01:49:51 AM

UOJ Comments

Everyone in the community is complicit with this criminal Margulies!
Lipa Margulies is an example of how a BIG crook gets away with murder (yes, murder of the soul of G-d knows how many children),while the little guy gets trampled on.
Margulies is the # 1 low-life in the Orthodox community.
He began his school with a major fraud and massive theft.He is a first class thief and a phony minuvel.His God is the almighty dollar.I know him well, HE DOES NOT HAVE A RELIGIOUS BONE IN HIS BODY!

He continues to harbor a child molester.

Every board member of this school or person of influence should hide themselves in shame!There is no wonder why the community is plagued with tragedies.You bring it on yourselves. Generations of Jewish people suffer because you really don't give a damn about anything that you feel doesn't effect you directly.I hope your kids and grandkids suffer the same fate as the above David, at the hands of a vicious child molester.You are all no better than the KING SCUMBAG of the Jewish community!

UOJ


I am not ashamed to admit that I cried myself to sleep the night that I read this post. My wife kept waking me up in middle of the night because I was screaming in my sleep.

UOJ


Comments By Elliot B. Pasik, Esq.
Long Beach, New York
efpasik@aol.com

Somebody asked me yesterday about the statute of limitations, and I addressed myself to that issue in secular court. However, in halacha, there is no statute of limitations - it doesn't exist. Indeed, at "common law", much of which is based on Torah, there is no limitation period for bringing lawsuits. That's why we call them "statutes" of limitations - these statutes of limitations are in derogation of common law.

Thus, where there are credible allegations of sex abuse against any Jew, you can bring an action in Beis Din, and the "statute of limitations" defense will not be available. And there are some trustworthy, credible batei din which exist today.

In secular court, one can, in the caption of the case, identify oneself as John or Jane Doe, and also move for relief that the file be sealed, not open to the public, where the issues may be exceptionally sensitive. I've done this. If I had a case in Beis Din like this this, I would certainly ask for the same procedure, where my client wanted it.

If a client harmed by a Jew against whom there are credible allegations of sex abuse does not have the ability to pay, certainly, I would offer some level of pro bono legal services. I certainly would not charge for an inital conference. The client would also, clearly, need as to'ayn.

Additionally, by no means should a lawsuit be ruled out, based on the failure of the organized orthodox world to enact reasonable security measures to protect the 100,000 Jewish children attending yeshivas and day schools in NYS, and the 200,000 nationwide. Not to have background checks, and a disciplinary system/registry, is simply unconscionable. As far as the background checks are concerned, in New York it is absolutely clear that the legislative route is currently the way to go. But what about the internal disciplinary system/registry - to compel the yeshiva/day school world to do this, court may be the only way to go.

Certainly, nonprofits can and have been successfully sued in the past, under a variety of legal theories. I recall a case against the Jewish National Fund, based on allegations that they were publicly seeking donations on the representation that they would support projects on the other side of the Green Line, but in fact, they were not doing that.

If you're thinking of a lawsuit against a Jewish organization based on the sex abuse problem, you can be sure I've given that some thought. The OU is primarily an organization that services synagogues, promotes religious programs to youth (NCSY), advocates legal and social positions before the Government, and obviously, is in the kashrus business. It has very little to do with yeshiva and day schools. NCYI is similar to the OU.

Torah U'mesorah is a different story. They are an umbrella group for 700 yeshivas and day schools in the United States, educating 200,000 plus Jewish children. Certainly, their individual schools, and arguably, by extension, Torah Umesorah itself, owe a "special" or "heightened" duty of care to all of the children attending those schools to provide adequate security. Those words are in quotes, because they appear in court decisions.

Some courts refer to this duty as, "in loco parentis" - an ancient Latin phrase that means, in place of the parent. When a parent, under legal compulsion, transfers physical custody of his or her child to a school, that school stands in the place of the parent, and assumes the same duty of care that a parent has toward the child. Just as a parent would not hire a convicted sex offender as a babysitter, a school should not hire a sex offender as a janitor, kitchen worker, teacher, or rebbe.

Just from publicly held lectures, I know of two cases where convicted sex offenders did assault children in our mosdos.

We also simply don't know whether there are, in fact, convicted sex offenders working in yeshivas - because nobody checks. And nobody tells us. Why? Because there's no parents organization. No oversight. No lawyers looking over somebody's shoulder, with the children's interests at stake.

To convince anybody of the extent of the problem, go onto the website of the New York State Division of Criminal Justice Services, click onto sex offender registry, and there you will find the lowest of the low - thousands of convicted Level 3 sex offenders - those adjudicated to be at the highest risk for repeating (Level 2 is moderate, and Level 1 is low risk, and they don't get onto the public website). You can search by county, zip code or name. And if you search by zip code, type in the zip codes for Borough Park, Rockland County, and Albany, click onto the Jewish names, and then staring you in the face will be Jewish men with beards and yarmulkes - Level 3 sex offenders. And there are other jurisdictions in this country where you can do the same thing. Then consider that any of these men can apply for a job in a yeshiva or day school, not get background-checked, and get the job. I printed some of these web site photos up, and in a discussion I had with a Rosh Yeshiva on this issue, he was very attentive, and supportive, but he wasn't really moved until he saw the photos. It is astonishing.

Ah, what about UNconvicted sex offenders. That is point 2 of my two point proposal. The vast majority of sex offenders don't get arrested and convicted. This is why we need an internal mechanism, possibly under the umbrella of Torah U'mesorah, or a parents organization, for internally disciplining any yeshiva/day school employee who is violent or commits a sexual assault. The New York City Department of Education has such a system and so too does every other public school system. We have 100,000 yeshiva/day school students in New York State. We need our own system, and we don't have one. At the two May 2003 Torah Umesora and RCA Conventions, several speakers told of incidents in which rabbi-molesters move from one yeshiva to another, after credible accusations are made. We have to stop this, by developoing an internal disciplinary system, and registry. The frum organizations have not done this, so we the parents must step in.

This is exactly what the May 2005 Resolution says, which I proposed and drafted - and was totally overlooked by the Jewish media. Its on rabbis.org. First, we need background checks, and next, we need a disciplinary system and registry.

Quite frankly, this is not complicated stuff. We just have to do it. But the RCA is primarily a synagogue rabbi organization, so they can't do it, and Torah Umesorah, an educational umbrella group of 700 yeshivas, which would seem like the right address for this, has failed to act. And even if they did belatedly act, what role do the parents play? Me? You? Where is the oversight?

In my opinion, the legislative route, as I've described, is preferable to a lawsuit, but if the legislative route fails - perhaps because there may be opposition from some quarters - certainly, then, all options should be considered. Public education departments get sued all the time for these kinds of things, and certainly, we all know what has happened in terms of lawsuits against the Catholic Church. We must remember that these are our children we're talking about, not the school's not the rabbi's, our children.

All of this clearly, clearly, clearly, needs an organization, despite the comments from the sole dissenter, Anon 5:05. None of us, not me, not UOJ, not anybody, can work alone.

I would also certainly cooperate with any newspaper interested in any aspect of this story.

Anon: 5:05. I see no useful purpose in continuing a dialogue with you, because it seems like you've got your mind made up, despite my saying that there are numerous aspects and nuances to this whole story which can't be told on a Blog. There is information out there which you are simply unaware of, and which can only be related in a b'kavodik organizational setting, where there is some reasonable level of confidentiality amongst the people involved, and where there is a thoughtful, intelligent exchange of ideas among activitist people. That's why I keep repeating that a parents group is necesssary. Practically every school in America, public and private, has a parents' organizations, except - did I say this before? - the Jews.

We need oversight, we need ideas, we need activism, we need each other - one more time, these are our children we're talking about.

I'm glad to hear that UOJ has gone to the Forward, and I would certainly cooperate with any journalist interested in this story.

Lip-Shits All Over Himself

The Yated's editorial, in part.

During the past year the New York City’s health commissioner, Dr. Thomas Frieden, has engaged in an effort to undermine a sacred component of Mitzvas Milah. He and his department recently stepped up their activities in this regard and issued directives and advisories aimed at planting fear in the hearts and minds of parents who are about to bring their child into the holiest covenant in Judaism.

The threat is not only against metzitzah b’peh. It is a slanderous and offensive diktat that undermines not only a specific element of Bris Milah, but assaults the entire concept of Bris Milah itself.

He claims to be “educating.” What he is actually doing is far more sinister.
Frieden clearly has overstepped his bounds. He was asked to back down from his assault on the privacy and sanctity of religious choice. But he does not relent. Last week he openly mocked a group of distinguished Rabbonim whom he called to an urgent meeting, by suggesting that they relinquish their religious authority to the Catholic Church.

An insult of this sort from a government official is reminiscent of the slurs once aimed at the Jewish community by foreign anti-Semitic governments of the past.
Indeed the lights of the nairos have glowed, but their flame must continue to illuminate the darkness. We pride ourselves on the amazing accomplishments Jews have reached throughout political and socio-economic levels. But the fact that shomrei Shabbos senators, mayors, doctors and lawyers abound in this country is not enough to guarantee that our freedom to practice our religion with all its sacred minhagim and particulars, will be upheld.

When the attack appears to equate our practices with those of tribal cults that are unsanitary and dangerous, a spear is being hurled at the heart and soul of a nation that is no stranger to hostile campaigns of this nature.

At stake is nothing less than the right to religious freedom, a lynchpin of the Constitution that we should never take for granted.

We must insist on the liberty to continue the practice of our tradition with every nuance and detail of the beautiful customs that are an integral part of the written law. It is our mesorah. It is our heritage. And our heritage is as sacred as our Torah.(You are an ignorant liar, perverter of our Torah, and an unbelievable asshole- I just thought I'd stick that in-UOJ)

Everyone concerned with these imperatives must let his voice be heard. Because when the dictates of bureaucracy begin to govern our spirituality, then our religious integrity has been compromised and walls of our tower have been breached. “ Ufortzu chomos Migdalai.” It is not long before the oil is defiled and the menorah hauled away.

Perhaps a commissioner will next mandate the use of electric menorahs because of his “concern” for our safety.


We get so comfortable here that we forget at times the message of the agalos; we lose sight of our mission and our goal. We forget that we are on a dangerous and treacherous path in golus, one that requires constant vigilance.
We need reminders so that our spirits can be lifted and we can return home. Let the image of the flames of the Chanukah menorah burn brightly in our memory so that we remember that at the end of the day, victory belongs not to those who boast of numbers, status or militarily might, but to those who battle for what is right and true.

Just as in the times of the Yevonim whose determination to uproot us from the Torah was miraculously defeated, so too, in our times, modern-day warriors who fight for the inviolate purity of Torah will be rewarded from Above with the consecration of the Beis Hamikdosh, speedily and in our day.


Jewish pornography at it's worst
UOJ

NEW ADDRESS-UNORTHODOXJEWS.BLOGSPOT.COM-ADD "S" TO JEW

Readers,
I am in communication with Mr. Pasik Esq., he is spending his own resources trying to institute various laws and programs to protect our children and vulnerable adults from sex abuse. I have done my due dilligence on this gentleman; he has an impeccable reputation in the legal as well as the Jewish community. I am urging members of our community to assist him in this noble and much needed effort.


I'm a lawyer, and I've been active in trying to do something about the problem of sex abuse in our community. In person, on the telephone, and by numerous letters and e-mails with all of the major frum organizations, I've been trying to accomplish two things:

1. Criminal background checks of all employees and volunteers working in yeshivas/day schools;

2. Torah U'mesorah having an internal registry of people who are unfit to work in our mosdos, because of a history of violence or sex abuse.

In May 2003, Torah U'Mesorah had a seminar on the problem of sex abuse, and some of the speakers said that the concept of a registry has been endorsed, but nothing has yet been done.

I got a boost in May 2005, when the RCA at its Convention passed a Resolution that I proposed and drafted, which endorses my two proposals. You can read it on their website, rabbis.org.

At this point, I've written letters to the Governor, and leaders of the Assembly and State Senate, asking for a new statute (law) that would require criminal background checks in all nonpublic schools, i.e., yeshivas, day schools. As I state in my letter, 42 out of 50 states require their public schools to perform background checks; 10 states require their nonpublic schools to do background checks; without compulsion of law, many nonpublic schools and volunteer youth groups are doing background checks, e.g., all Catholic schools, Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, Little League of America, etc. Only we Jews aren't doing this.

Public support for my proposal would help, and if you, or someone you know, or any other serious person reading this blog would like to invite me to speak somewhere, I am available.

Finally, I hope to form an association of yeshiva/day school parents and friends that will push this proposal, and also explore other, new ways to make our schools a better and safe place for our children. Again, all interested persons can contact me at my e-mail address below. I do have some specific ideas in my mind. I particularly need somebody with computer skills to set up a website, which will include some of my letters on this issue; and I also need lawyers who can set up a nonprofit corporation, eligible for tax deductions.

Kol tuv.

Elliot B. Pasik, Esq.
Long Beach, New York
efpasik@aol.com

The Wrong Message From The Gun For Hire Charedi Stooge

by Jonathan Rosenblum

Though the economic crisis of the chareidi community in Israel is much discussed subject, that discussion typically focuses on the threat to our yeshivos or trumpeting the percentage of children under the poverty line to demonstrate the failure of the government's social and economic program. Much less frequently discussed is the impact of poverty on our homes and families.

I know of no authoritative statistics on the number of gittin in the chareidi community, but each one of us is privy to plenty of anecdotal evidence of the rise in divorce, in particular among young couples. Prior to the Gaza withdrawal, the black humor in at least one community with a high concentration of younger couples went: "Yehudi aino m'garesh Yehudi, aval Yehudi megaresh Yehudiah -- A Jew does not expel another Jew, but a Jew does divorce a Jewess."

Economic factors are rarely the only factors behind divorce. But no one would deny that economic pressures are adding new stresses to marriage, and that many marriages are not standing up to the strain. As Chazal say, "Arguments are not found in a man's home, except as a consequece of [a lack of] grain" (Bava Metziah 59b).

One of the leaders of the generation recently asked a respected talmid chacham to undertake a kollel in a community with many young couples. He couched his request not in terms of limud HaTorah, but rather in terms of "pikuach nefesh". The gadol told him that he personally knew of 12 cases of gittin in that community in which economic pressures were a major factor.

In many of these cases, the problems begin soon after the wedding, when the husband is unable to secure a place in Kollel. The areas to which young couples are attracted by virtue of relatively lower housing costs, are also furthest removed from major population centers and good jobs. As a consequence, many young married women find themselves with little, or no, work.

Even if the husband in such a situation spends most of the day in a beis hamedrash --by no means an easy matter, if one is not a member of a kollel -- the young couple inevitably find themselves too much in one another's company. Too frequently, each feels that their spouse has somehow failed him or her, either by failing to secure a place in kollel or to find a job, and as the pressures caused by a lack of incoming income mount so do the mutual recriminations.

The economic pressures on young couples are only one aspect of the problem. Unfortunately, those pressures do not abate with time and the growth of the family. A rosh yeshiva of a yeshiva ketana recently told me that even families in which both parents work, are often unable to pay full tuition, especially if they have already married off one or two children and are heavily in debt. By that time, of course, the marriage is on a much sounder basis than for young couples but daily, grinding pressure takes its toll on the ability of even the finest people to deal with the challenges that all married couples face.

NOT UNRELATED TO THE STRESS ON MARRIAGES from a lack of money even for basic necessities is the adverse impact on children.

We would like to think that the simplicity with which we live conveys to our children a message of mesirus nefesh for Torah. And that is no doubt true in many cases.

But where there is constant discussion in the house of a lack of money or squabbling between parents over monetary matters, the children may end up receiving a message far different than that which the parents intended to convey. The message for many children in such a situation is that money is the solution to all problems and that Torah learning is the cause. And that may be true even where the parents mesirus nefesh is in fact extraordinary and a reflection of both parents' sincere desire to sacrifice for the husband's growth in Torah learning.

Someone close to one of the leaders of the generation once told me of a young boy just a few years after bar mitzvah, who came into the gadol's house and demonstratively threw down his kippah. The gadol asked him to explain his dramatic act. The boy's reply: "Everything is no, no, no. We can't afford that because Tatte learns Torah. Even when all I want is a cheap candy, the answer is still, "No, because Tatte learns." That teenager viewed Torah study as a source of deprivation, rather than of the greatest imaginable joy, with predictable consequences for his future learning and mitzvah observance.

During his years as a rav in Tzitevian, Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky was very poor. His salary was collected from the members of the town in the smallest possible coins. Reb Yaakov and his Rebbetzin possessed only one pair of galoshes between them, and he had only one shirt to wear. Yet whenever the children asked for something, Reb Yaakov was careful not to tell them that he could not afford the item in question. Instead he always explained why the item in question was not really necessary.

Better that the children should see him as a tightwad, Reb Yaakov felt, than that they should feel that their father was unable to provide for them. Not only do too many of our children lack the security of feeling that their parents are able to supply their basic needs, but they feel that they too are destined for a life of even deeper poverty.

In the end the hidden costs of rampant poverty on the quality of our marriages and our children may turn out to be even greater than the more obvious consequences of poverty.


UOJ Comments

Jonathan,

Now I know you have lost it completely. Are you suggesting that the opening of new kollelim is a matter of life and death?? Do We need MORE kollelim and more young men breeding poverty?

How confused have you become? How many kids are you willing or able to support in kollel?

Assuming the average Charedi family has only five kids and each kid has five kids, add their spouses into the equation and in no time there are 30 people added to the welfare roles.

What kind of advice is this from a Yale graduate? Either you have become a dishonest broker for the Fundies, or you have gone off the deep end.

Then you end the article with an imaginary Art Scroll story, pathetic!

Shame on you!