Thursday, June 30, 2005

Jewish Genius

I knew it!

I did not need any study to tell me how smart we Jews are.

All I have to do is look around at all the great ideas that Orthodox Jews created,I can easily tell that they are geniuses when it comes to making money out of nonsense.

1-Chalav Yisroel.All you have to do to get Jewish milk,is put any alta kaker on a farm that produces milk and the milk magically becomes Chalav Yisroel.
He could be 100 yards from where the cows are being milked,he can fall asleep,he can be over twelve, over 100 years old who has Alzheimers,as long as he is not a woman chas v'shalom(hard to tell nowadays),you got Jew Milk.
You can charge as much as you want for this watered down white liquid,because it magically became chalav yisroel.

2-New York water is non kosher.You need to buy filters or put a shmatta under the faucet to eliminate shratzim.I say the only shratzim in the New York water are the guys who made up this B.S.,if & when they ever shower.

3-Hats.It used to be the Shvartzes with the most hats.
No more!
You got all kinds of hats.
Weekday hats,hats you leave in the car,hats you leave in shul,hats for the rain,hats for Shabbos,hats for chasunas,hats for Yom-Tov,big fur ones,doughnut shaped fur hats,velvet hats, and kosher plastic hat covers.

4-Hilchos Nidah.

You got that right.

The rav that is the most maikel(lenient),gets the most lunch bags in his mail box and front porch.
It also became a major fundraising tool.
Anyone that leaves a check in the bag for over $100,is guaranteed to get a very lenient psak.
Who ever said that Jewish blood is cheap?

If a rabbi plays his cards right,he can build all his kids new houses on nidah money.
When rabbonnim are deeply engrossed in conversation at chasunahs,what do you think they are talking about?
You got it,they are bragging about how many bags a week they get.

If business slacks off,all they have to do is "SAY YES".No big deal, they have been used to saying yes since the night they got married.

Any rav that paskens hilchos nidah knows a sure way for him to get satisfied mispallelim is to go easy on the underwear.

When I walk into any shul and see smiling mispallelim,I know the rav is a smart guy.

In most shuls I walk into, the guys look like hell and miserable.Smarten up rabbis,start paskening hilchos nidah.

This Rav went over to a sick looking mispallel and asked him why he looked so terrible.
The mispallel said things are so very tough,the children are difficult and my wife gained an awful lot of weight.
The Rav responded-I know,size 18!

I heard that one of a rav's many children,had a very unique lunch one day when his father was in a rush and did the lunch bags!

Malcolm Forbes,the billionaire,was asked "what was the meaning of life?"
He said,"the guy with the most toys wins".
I say,the rabbi with the most lunch bags wins!

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Jonestown Judaism

The Pied Piper approach to Judaism is over.

With the onset of all the great technological advances over the last hundred years,with Jews having become way more knowledgeable in the REAL halachos,the guy with the flute is fluting to a smaller and more ignorant group.

Seventy one rabbonim in Israel have formed what" they call" a Sanhedrin.

I say gezunteheit.

Anything that will wrestle control away from a few very elderly,shut off from the real world,albeit great Torah scholars,gets my vote.

There is absolutely no way" authentic" Yiddishkeit can continue to exist,if a few guys who do not have a clue what the real issues facing Klal Yisroel are,continue to call the shots.

Slowly but surely,the Kool-Aid they are passing around to their followers will cause a spiritual mass suicide.

Ten years ago,Indian hair wigs were ok,today "the REAL ehrliche should be machmir".

A virus spread by a mohel is really fiction,"the Anti-Semites and the Modern Orthodox are out to destroy our holy Torah".

"The issue of agunahs are really the woman's fault".If only they did not go out in the workplace,drive cars,or go back to school so they can support their PARASITE HUSBANDS who hang out in husband shelters(kollel),we would not have an agunah problem.

Every loser pisher today is called a GAON.Open the newspapers,or when called to give a brocho by a chasuna,every Putz is now a gaon or rosh of something,there are no longer any stam rabbonim.

I opened the newspapers this week and lo & behold",Lipa Margulies became not only a gaon,but Maran Rosh Yeshiva,and one of the greatest marbetzei Torah in the world".

Does anyone want to bestow on him the same title as Sholom Elyashiv??
What a pathetic fraud!

A little history about Margulies.

A way below average student,who worked as a registrar(tuition taker) in Tora V'daas on Wilson Street in Williamsburgh.
He gets access to the list of benefactors of Torah V'daas.
He then opens up his own yeshiva and calls it Torah V'daas of Flatbush.
For years he is soliciting and cashing checks issued to the real Tora V'daas.

Finally,he is called to a din torah, and begrudgingly he is forced to change the name to Tora T'mima,but does not return the millions of dollars he pilferred.

Bingo games out of his so called bais midrash, was another source of income to this minuvel.

He keeps a known pedophile as a rebbe,although this guy had a very long history of molesting children even as a camp counselor.

Parents of the children who testified are harassed and threatened with every conceivable ugliness,until they give up the battle.All to save his BUSINESS.

"Maran Rosh Yeshiva,Gaon".....Wow, a new low for the Jews who do not stand up against such criminal behavior.

When a yeshiva's entire foundation is established on a massive GENAIVA,are we sure we want to call this guy,MARAN ROSH YESHIVA or GAON.

Gaon of what? Are you crazy?

Yated will check a products kashrus before they accept an ad,what about checking the validity of a persons title? They perpetuate this achzarius by accepting ads of this kind!

The Sanhedrin has my vote,as long as their quest for solutions to today's complex issues are beneficial to the klal at large,and if they are comprised of authentic rabbonim,yerei Hashem, with their goal being the long term spiritual health of Klal Yisroel.

Until they start raising huge sums of your money to purchase real-estate under their family names,I say give them a chance.

Friday, June 24, 2005


I go into Shabbos humbled.

I had an absolutely perfect life until I started blogging.
I discovered that controversial bloggers can not handle a blogger that is more controversial than themselves.

I call that plain old blog- ego-mania.

Anyway,back to the humble part.

No one that knows me believes that I can actually be humbled,but I am sure that the kishka(GH-TAKE NOTICE)and the cholent this Shabbos will not taste the same.

I have a wonderful family,plenty of gelt and a loyal group of friends.My life is in ruins now.All for naught because of the BAN!

Oy! what to do?

Please,my dear readers,help me get through this.

If anyone out there has a similar experience to share(NOT NUTSO KAMINETSKY),please offer some comfort.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Art Scroll

A brief history of the company and it's" not for profit" owners.

Meir Zlotowitz,the original art-not scroll,was writing kesubahs in pretty calligraphy.
He actually did some real nice art work,ie; wedding invitations etc.

At the same time, Nosson Sherman was a yeshiva k'tana rebbe at Margulies's bingo parlor aka Tora T'mima.
Sherman hated Margulies's guts to put it bluntly,as does everyone else who knows him.

Sherman goes back to college at night and majors in English.
He ultimately graduates college(some black hatter he turned out to be),and forms a partnership with Zlotowitz.

His mentor was for the most part R'Gedalya Schorr.

Make no mistake about it,they have done a wonderful job of disseminating some extremely important works of Judaism.

Sherman is a very bright guy and Zlotowitz is no fool.

Enter money & politics.

They are controlled by the Moetzes(Agudah)and have an inherent bias against Modern Orthodoxy.
They make loads of money(not a bad thing),and no one should confuse them with Torah Lishma proliferaters.They are businessmen first and any publication that they thought would not produce a profit,they would not publish.

In my opinion,Steinsaltz's Shas has much more depth and profundity,but Steinsaltz is a Chabadnik and a college professor,and had no chance of being endorsed by the Agudah in the U.S.A.
So called gedolim in Israel have branded him a heretic,and ordered his seforim burned.

Here is a golden rule that always prevails.

Whenever Torah becomes a business,no matter how well intentioned it starts out,money poisons the well.

Art Scroll exists partly by major contributions,which means KISHIN TUCHAS ad nauseum.

That means m'challeli shabbos get front row seats at daf yomi conventions.Get the drift?
That means stealing works from Noson Slifkin,and not paying him for it.

All l'shem Shomayim.....aha...

Thursday, June 09, 2005

The Many Faces Of Evil

All of us have confronted various forms of evil,but only the intelligent ones among us know how to recognize the disguised forms of evil.

There is straightforward evil.A person murders another person,a rapist rapes someone..etc.

Evil, right?I do not believe any rational person would claim that these acts do not constitute evil.I am not talking about a religion that preaches murder and hate as part of their religion.

I am talking about the average guy in the street in the U.S.,if you asked them if murder and rape is wrong,they would say yes.

Then we can get into "gray area"evil.You can have an honest debate whether state sanctioned killing is evil(death penalty for heinous crimes).

I am a firm believer of the death penalty, for civilization to exist.
That discussion is for another day.

Let us discuss evil as it pertains to us Jews.

Certainly,I would not categorize murder of ideas in the same category as murder of humans,but in my opinion that constitutes evil in a very vile and treacherous form.

The Charedi Right is guilty of such evil.
They espouse such hate to ideas that they do not understand .

The hate manifests in the ugliest forms.Book burnings,bans and the likes of which we saw primarily by the greatest Jew haters in our history.

Book burnings and Kristalnaacht conjures up one image only,and not a pretty one.
Banning of people and books and their publishers were done to us by the VILEST ANIMALS THAT EVER CRAWLED ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!


How much hate can you bring to our people in the name of Torah?

You are a pitiful bunch of fanatics that have contributed to the steady decline in the numbers of the Jewish people.

Children raised in Orthodox homes are leaving the fold in record numbers because they can not fathom your behavior.

Baalei Tshuva have been reduced in numbers because of you.

Borderline secular Jews want to have nothing to do with a religion that alienates their own.

You are making the front pages of the world newspapers.

The world is watching....

The Jews are watching.....

The Ribono Shel Olam is watching.......

Monday, June 06, 2005

The Asher Yatzer G'dolim

EXTRA,EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT-you can now buy a bracha from the LOOTvishe G'dolim.

This used to be a business exclusive to the chassidei "borsht" or chassidei "Besht"-either way we are into a new lunacy.

My first problem is that this may be hasogas g'vul.The right to intervene with hashem used to be a business exclusive to the guys who got their mesora from the very first Forest Ranger.

He used to run around the trees and talk to the birds.

He could not learn so he figured out a way to create a new business and a new religion.

He was the INTERVENER,because his guys could not even daven.

For three centuries the Chassidei Borsht had a great business going.

Give the rebbe as much money as you can,steal it if you have to,and he would talk directly to Hashem on your behalf.Sound familiar?The way to G-D is through an intemediary?

The handlers of the LOOTvishe G'dolim now want to expand this concept to their guys.
They spend thousands and thousands of dollars on pretty fliers advertising their business.

For $180 they will send a talmid chochom to the Kosel to daven for you!

You have so many different items on the menu.


2-40 days at the Kosel

3-Kvittel for rabbanim

4-Tefillos throughout the summer

The categories include:yeshua,parnassa,refua shleima,children,nachas,shidduch,success,there is even a box for special requests.

You can pay by check,automatic withdrawal from your bank account,toll-free number and credit card.

You guys have gone mad!


Sunday, June 05, 2005

The Morons At Yated Ne'eman

Reading the editors view at Yated Ne'eman,made me think how low we are sinking.

The metziza b'peh issue is causing all the paranoid nut cases to drop their Borsalino's and start hyperventilating all over their computers.

The Mohel Fisher has oral Herpes.He should not be putting his saliva on anyone!

Metziza B'peh is NOT part of the Milah process.Avrohom Avinu did not lick Yitzchok's wound.
There is no place in this dialogue for fools.


Firstly,our Zeides probably did not have many teeth,if at all.

Secondly,they did not brush their teeth all year 'round,why all of a sudden does this become part of a mesora?

This reminds me of the fools that were m'kabel to cut their nails AFTER going to the mikva on Friday,because that is what their rebbe did.

The nails are softer after they are immersed in water,idiots.

Metziza B'peh was used strictly because our Zeides were NOT educated in the potential problems associated with viruses.Ushmartim es nafshoseichem is min Hatorah,IT IS OSSUR TO PUT ANYONE'S LIFE AT RISK OR EVEN CAUSE A POTENTIAL ILLNESS.

Mohel Fischer and his supporters are a bunch of fanatical whackos,who are seizing on any straw to bash the ANTI-SEMITES,who happen to be many talmedei chachomim and true ehrliche yidden.



Metziza B'Peh is no more part of Yiddishkeit than black velvet yarmulkes and shtreimels!

Thursday, June 02, 2005

The UNMAKING Of G'dolim

We have been witness to a huge decline in stature of our rabbonim,rebbes and the status of frum Jews in general.

G'dolim of yesteryear had an uncanny ability to deal with the major issues of our time with tremendous finesse.

Today,these pretend leaders are in no way capable of earning any sort of respect.They are intellectual weaklings who can not resist the lure of money & power.

If we were to take a look at the "Simcha Guidelines" signed by ten or more American "G'dolim", we can not fathom who they think they are talking to.

I personally have seen ALL of them attending weddings very often, that do not come close to their guidelines.

The general answer used is that there are certain exceptions that have to be made.


There is another fad created by rabbis.All of a sudden every below average guy with a story to fabricate is writing a book.

I find it interesting that the guys who could not get a job here in the U.S. teaching a high school level class,have become rosh yeshivas in Israel.

The black hat yeshivas are destroying our kids with their brainwashing ,teaching them not to chas v'shalom go to work or college.
They are feeding machines to the kollelim.

The future is bleak if we permit these trends of nonsense to fester on ideologies of stupidity.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

The Kollel Fraud

We are developing a welfare state!

An entire generation of young men are being manipulated to participate in the greatest FRAUD of Right Wing Judaism called Kollel.

Would any school of higher learning permit anyone to participate in a learning project unless they were the most brilliant and accomplished students? Do not give me the Torah lishma line.The vast majority of young men entering kollel,NEVER learned seriously prior to getting married.

Because of the shame in going to WORK(a four letter word ending in k)families are being destroyed, literally.

It is not only the generation who can not and will not go earn a living,it is the parents and grandparents that are being led into the poorhouse.

A friend of mine did a study of patterns in kollel.He was a major contributor to a kollel,in a major kollel town.
He stayed in the town for a whole week.
He discovered that NEVER was there a time when more than 40% of the official kollel members showed up for shacharit.
Never was there more than 55% that showed up for the first seder.
Never was there a time where more than 48% showed up for second seder.

That means that most guys do not learn more than a few hours a day.


The baalei batim in the old country(the few that learned)got up at 4 a.m. to learn and daven.
We are creating a whole generation of parasites.

The only people that profit from this scandal are the institutions that promote this scandalous trend.How?By raising millions of dollars from the private sector and the government.
What happens with the money?

Tens of millions of dollars are used to purchase prime real-estate that are OWNED by the families of the yeshiva owners.Talk about buying real- estate with NO MONEY DOWN!
Whether it is Ocean Parkway in Brooklyn or Lakewood,the real-estate is owned and operated by these families.

They load up these privately owned institutions with their family members whether they are qualified or not,with your money!

Anyone that is interested should check out the title holders of these properties and the corporate entities(joke) that own them.

When does this stop?

When the people that give these organizations a big fat,"THAT IS ENOUGH!"
When they tell them that ONLY the most talented and brilliant students are to be admitted to kollel,at risk of losing all financial help.