I did not need any study to tell me how smart we Jews are.
All I have to do is look around at all the great ideas that Orthodox Jews created,I can easily tell that they are geniuses when it comes to making money out of nonsense.
1-Chalav Yisroel.All you have to do to get Jewish milk,is put any alta kaker on a farm that produces milk and the milk magically becomes Chalav Yisroel.
He could be 100 yards from where the cows are being milked,he can fall asleep,he can be over twelve, over 100 years old who has Alzheimers,as long as he is not a woman chas v'shalom(hard to tell nowadays),you got Jew Milk.
You can charge as much as you want for this watered down white liquid,because it magically became chalav yisroel.
2-New York water is non kosher.You need to buy filters or put a shmatta under the faucet to eliminate shratzim.I say the only shratzim in the New York water are the guys who made up this B.S.,if & when they ever shower.
3-Hats.It used to be the Shvartzes with the most hats.
You got all kinds of hats.
Weekday hats,hats you leave in the car,hats you leave in shul,hats for the rain,hats for Shabbos,hats for chasunas,hats for Yom-Tov,big fur ones,doughnut shaped fur hats,velvet hats, and kosher plastic hat covers.
You got that right.
The rav that is the most maikel(lenient),gets the most lunch bags in his mail box and front porch.
It also became a major fundraising tool.
Anyone that leaves a check in the bag for over $100,is guaranteed to get a very lenient psak.
Who ever said that Jewish blood is cheap?
If a rabbi plays his cards right,he can build all his kids new houses on nidah money.
When rabbonnim are deeply engrossed in conversation at chasunahs,what do you think they are talking about?
You got it,they are bragging about how many bags a week they get.
If business slacks off,all they have to do is "SAY YES".No big deal, they have been used to saying yes since the night they got married.
Any rav that paskens hilchos nidah knows a sure way for him to get satisfied mispallelim is to go easy on the underwear.
When I walk into any shul and see smiling mispallelim,I know the rav is a smart guy.
In most shuls I walk into, the guys look like hell and miserable.Smarten up rabbis,start paskening hilchos nidah.
This Rav went over to a sick looking mispallel and asked him why he looked so terrible.
The mispallel said things are so very tough,the children are difficult and my wife gained an awful lot of weight.
The Rav responded-I know,size 18!
I heard that one of a rav's many children,had a very unique lunch one day when his father was in a rush and did the lunch bags!
Malcolm Forbes,the billionaire,was asked "what was the meaning of life?"
He said,"the guy with the most toys wins".
I say,the rabbi with the most lunch bags wins!