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Thursday, December 08, 2005

Penguin of the Week Award

By David Kelsey

A UOJ Exclusive
!

In conjunction with the Elders of this site, I have begun a “Penguin of the Week” Award to illuminate ignorant and destructive behavior committed by select leaders, activists, sages, and writers within the Ultra-Orthodox community.

The winner may receive the remains of a three day old shabbes leftover Gefilte fish loaf. The loaf may not be picked up before Wednesday, and a nominal donation of $1 must be “given” to the Un-Orthodox Jew blog. Unfortunately, UOJ is NOT currently able to accept food stamps, so many of our winners will not be able to receive their award. Once again, the voluntary but still mandatory $1 must be payed in cash.

Without further ado, let us go to this week’s “winner.”

And the winner is … The Orthodox Jew Blog!

Congratulations Orthodox Jew Blog!

Created “to answer the guys at the unorthodoxjew blog,” the Orthodox Jew blog bravely rebukes aspects of the Jewish community for not being frum enough, such as this eloquent apologetic from November 18th.
“Lets make this clear when we do mitzvahs we are mesaken the world that's not why we them that's not our ultimate goal.”
I said bravely, because like many in the Ultra-Orthodox world, they have accepted this mandate to fight in English without knowing English (or any single language fluently, for that matter), or bothering with those period things that the Jewish secularists use to end sentences with, attempting to emulate the goyim. Why should they? It’s Avodah Zorah or something. We all make spelling mistakes, but these guys have no shame. You know why? Because it’s l’shame Shemyaim.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that everyone, absolutely everyone, should contrast the ideas and writing abilities of UOJ blog to the OJ blog. This is as worthy an ultra-Orthodox resistor to our ideas as the Ultra-Orthodox community will produce in their worthy fight against the evil cabal of allies against the frumme yid. This evil alliance of Soneh Yisroels includes but is not limited to: The UOJ Blog, Dinosaurs, Information, the Internet, the NY Health Department, and the impure drinkers of unfiltered water.

Keep up the good fight, boys.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Boog said...

DT;

A most worthy recipient.

I've got the feeling that they will be in the running for the Penguin each week.

To make it more palatable, (for you OJ's, that means Geshmak) you should offer them a Kosher Bird. No, check that; don't "offer" or "award" it to them... 'flip' it to them. The 'flip' is a universal lingo that even they fully understand.

Give the 'flip' a little body English mit der middle finger.

Hatzlucha Robber.

N.B. Henceforth, In the great tradition of Kotzk, I am shortening my name to Boog. Kurtz and hopefully, Scharf.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 6:37:00 PM  
Blogger Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Boog,
Kurtz & Scharf, two crooked Bobover families, don't get me going.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 6:48:00 PM  
Anonymous wondering said...

While I don't question your motives or reasoning behind this blog, I do question why someone who obviously considers himself to be some sort of ground breaking maverik would hide in the proverbial closet rather than admitting who you are. Come on bigshot, be a man and stop hiding.

It's easy to hide behind a computer screen and be a bully. It takes a man to come out of hiding and say it b'fumbi.

Quit being a coward. Take a stand and be a man.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 7:42:00 PM  
Blogger Un-Orthodox Jew said...

I am out there every single day blasting people in person....people are idiots by not connecting the dots.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 7:51:00 PM  
Blogger David Kelsey said...

Wondering,

Do you read by lines? Cause my name is on it. I wrote it for UOJ, that's why it's an exclusive.

Please be more attentive in the future.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 8:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

David Kelsey, was I questioning you?

Please be more attentive in the future

Thursday, December 08, 2005 8:27:00 PM  
Blogger Yungerman said...

UOJ - what do you think of kashrut.org?

Thursday, December 08, 2005 9:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its interesting how the charletons,
frauds, cheats and lowlifes do all their dirty deeds right in front of everybodies nose.Yet the people who fight these charletons and frauds have enough common decency
to be behind the scenes watching and observing without the fanfare.
This is because the fighters can better serve the cause by not revealing who we are. Let the cheats be in the forefront. Thats where they like to be, and let the fighters be behide the scenes so that we can better do combat against the hypocrisy.We don't need to reveal ourselves like "real" men. We aren't honor seekers, we just want the frauds to be confronted and know somebody is watching.They have forgotten that G-d is always watching,yet they probably fear man more than they fear G-d. This is exactly where our work can be better served.Frauds and cheats we know who you are, so beware and clean up your act.

Thursday, December 08, 2005 10:45:00 PM  
Anonymous mikva raid said...

You guys are so bored?

Thursday, December 08, 2005 11:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Boog said...

I have no idea who the Bobover Kurtz and Scarf guys are/have done.

I meant it in the Kotsk way. Short and to the Point.

If these guys are worthy, OU, blog 'em!

Thursday, December 08, 2005 11:37:00 PM  
Blogger Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Anonymous, 10:45,

THANKYOU!

Friday, December 09, 2005 12:18:00 AM  
Blogger Un-Orthodox Jew said...

Yungerman,

I know R' Yitzchak Abadi shlita personally, he was the best of the best to come out of Lakewood.

He got a bum rap from Shneur Kotler & family. They forced him out of the yeshiva, blackballed him and almost destroyed this adom gadol.

I do not know his children personally, although I met them.

Friday, December 09, 2005 12:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

uoj is an adam gadol blasting everybody every day.

connect the dots.

Saturday, December 10, 2005 9:29:00 PM  

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